i've been hearing about the dreaded homosexual agenda for yonks. not really being able to conjure up what that might be, i decided to make a concerted intellectual effort...
8:00 am - awaken to hot rhythms of Erasure
8:01 am - head to kitchen to brew coffee
8:06 am - take shower, singing Pet Shop Boys' "Rent"
8:27 am - preen before mirror
8:40 am - find clean, studded leather banana hammock, one that's suitable for the office
8:45 am - iron sleeveless mesh tee shirt, no starch
8:50 am - cover attire with armani smart suit and tie, italian shoes
8:56 am - eat breakfast of diet pills and head to office, rolling to beats of Paul Parker
9:38 am - stride into office, wink at copier repairman
9:40 am - begin work
12:11 pm - head to lunch with friends
1:56 pm - return to work
3:25 pm - duck out for quick hair appointment
6:20 pm - head to gym; today is abs!
8:13 pm - dinner for one in front of the tv; hope you're not too late for American Idol
10:00 pm - head to bed, you have an appointment with Wilde
one can feel the evil. how will we save our culture? think of the children. just not like that.